THE ASKMEN TAKE
One look at anything from Ed Hardy and it’s hard to keep your eyes off of it. The collection of tattoo-inspired designs featuring skulls, hearts, roses, and the occasional hot-glued rhinestone is afashion faux pas of catastrophic proportions. You’re probably familiar with the T-shirts, shoes and array of accessoriesincluding Ed Hardy hats, belts and watches, but the monstrous brand has since expanded with vodka, camping gear and nasal strips for easy breathing. It’s a natural progression for a label that also lays claim to nicotine patches and baby diapers. As you may have guessed, Ed Hardy’s focus is as hazy as a summer day in downtown L.A. where the hats, not surprisingly, first gained momentum. Fortunately, one thing is clear: The douchebag factor of the brand is roughly equivalent to a dozen atomic bombs being dropped during Hurricane Katrina at high tide.
It may be hard to believe that the laundry list of Ed Hardy products came to life just five years ago -- literally, since the label has a full line of bedding and towels. The brand was first established by a talented San Francisco tattoo artist of the same name, but the rights were licensed to merchandise mogul Christian Audigier. The taut-faced and tanned Mr. Audigier -- who was also the shadowy mastermind behind the equally offensive Von Dutch fad circa 2002 -- built an entire business upon taking advantage of people with bad taste. If nothing else, Ed Hardy hats make it incredibly easy to spot a first-class tool while you’re still at a comfortable distance.
UNIQUENESS
Buying a slice of the Ed Hardy empire puts you in the ranks of style superstars like Jon Gosselin, Spencer Pratt and the entire cast of Jersey Shore. Needless to say, there are only so many ways that a tattoo can be cheaply silk screened onto a trucker cap and topped off with Ed Hardy’s signature as an official cheese-o-riffic seal of approval. The ironic thing about Ed Hardy, however, is that in an attempt to be masculine, skull and rose designs that look like a pile of biker vomit are actually just the opposite. No matter how hard you work out or how orange your tan gets, an Ed Hardy hat (or hookah or bottle of travel hand sanitizer) looks unmistakably meant for a 12-year-old Long Island mall girl -- and even that would be an insulting stretch.
DURABILITY
The funny thing about a product as hideous and fast-moving as an Ed Hardy hat is that it seems like it will be around forever. At north of $100 for Bedazzled varieties, the hats don’t come cheap, which makes it all the more mysterious as to how they became so popular in the first place. But don’t expect Ed Hardy to stick around much longer. It’s only a matter of time now before Ed Hardy goes to the big Von Dutch hat graveyard in the sky.
